Tuesday, February 23, 2010


"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3

"Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:30-31

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Tonight, I love my Steaz organic sparkling green tea I found at Big Lots, my .01 Publix mystery deal coffee from my in laws, the last couple of posts on my husband's blog that I just got caught up on, and these scriptures.

I am so grateful for renewed strength and perfect peace that transcends understanding.

My mind keeps going to next month and what will be our next challenge. It's Tim's birthday month, and he hates sleeping, so I guess we won't shoot for 8 hours of sleep a night. It's not quite warm enough for our daily exercise challenge, nor is the harvest plentiful enough to eat 90% locally grown food. hmmm. narrows down the brainstorm list a bit.

Tim is out of his concert and headed home. He had the time of his life. Tegan and Sara in Atlanta. Many hours spent outside today reading and people watching to be on the front row. I can't wait to hear.

Friday, February 19, 2010


Well...things have not been as dry and uneventful as my lack of blogging might indicate. Life has been full and wonderful and challenging.

My mom has an appointment to be seen at Emory on March 8th. The call with an appointment time...finally...was so relieving and helped me feel hopeful as well as very overwhelmed. They need $500 for us to walk in the door...everything else after that will be discussed and set on a payment plan. you know what though? Who cares about the money really. We just want so badly to have answers and plans and solutions. Besides, can't you add paypal buttons to blogs? LOL! Tim has had a great couple of months in his practice and because of that, sacrifices, and his incredible commitment and drive to pay off our debt, he has been able to put a significant amount of money toward paying down our credit card debt. It has been so very encouraging and inspiring and wonderful despite the sacrifices. Now it just seems so hard to struggle with the idea of $500 being so monstrous when we just had it...just not for medical bills...except that we MUST pay off some debt for our own lives and freedom...except I'd give up everything I have for my mom...except she would never ever want that...and so on.

Anyway, I have to be honest and say that I have missed a couple of days of reading and praying for 30 minutes since the last post. Ironically, it was during or due to preparing for a conference our church just hosted for the southeast. I had several hour practices several nights last week that led me into my door and straight in the bed, had full, good days, over the weekend with the conference, and then ended the weekend with a late night out when Tim surprised me with a babysitter on Valentine's Day while we were already in Atlanta. This week's challenge has been being sick with a nasty cold Tim and I both seem to have gotten from the kids.

Life is so full, isn't it? I guess I wouldn't want it any other way. The bible urges us to "consider it pure joy whenever [we] face trials of many kinds." I could list a lot of things that bring me joy, and trials and suffering would not make it to the list at all, but this scripture (James 1:2) tells me to consider those bad things (to me) "pure joy." Maybe hard times are what allows me to experience true, pure joy. I was deeply moved by God while singing in the choir at the conference this past weekend. This is what I want my heart to sing out to God each day:

Blessed be your name in the land that is plentiful, where your streams of abundance flow, blessed be your name.
Blessed be your name when I'm found in the desert place, though I walk through the wilderness, blessed be your name.
Blessed be your name when the sun's shining down on me, when the world's all as it should be, blessed be your name.
Blessed be your name on the road marked with suffering, though there's pain in the offering, blessed be your name.

Every blessing you pour out, I'll turn back to praise. When the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say, "Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your name. Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your glorious name."
You give and take away. You give and take away.
My heart will chose to say, "Lord, blessed be your name."

I could not stop crying while singing the "give and take away" "my heart will chose to say." wow...just so who I want to be. My friend Brianne, whose husband died of brain cancer less than a year ago, had this heart. I could actually see her in the crowd while I was singing this song. No matter what happens in my life, I want to be able to sing this song and mean it.

Off to drink some coffee and get more caught up on Lost and American Idol on the computer (we have not missed our TV service, btw!!).

Friday, February 5, 2010


My mom had an early doctor's appointment today, and we got called back so quickly that I did not even have time to make my free coffee, of which I am very fond. The rest of the appointment was absolutely no good either, as we found out that her blood levels/counts have dropped again, which makes the doctor unsure (again) of what he thinks is happening. He referred us to Emory, and we should know the date of that appointment by Monday. Hopefully, it will be this week. Mom appeared overwhelmed and worried, and although I bet I did not appear to be, I too, was discouraged and super concerned. Let me just spell it out, actually...I am worried.

I felt like cracking, but instead, picked up my oragnic grassfed beef from a friend's freezer and then went to Marmalade Pottery to pick out a birthday present. Maria Dondero is an amazing artist, and it makes me so happy to visit and buy and give her pottery. I found two great pieces for two friends (which were on sale in the studio) and then something amazing happened! I was looking at one of the "seconds" and contemplating if I wanted to buy it for myself with my Christmas money. We discussed the small imperfection that made it a "second" and then I spotted and asked about a crack. Maria grabbed it and examined it and then asked if I would like to have it, as she would not be able to sell it with the crack. Wow! What an amazing blessing and uplifting end to the morning hours.

Later in the day, I closed my finger in the car door. Not sure how, but I did, and it was/is so very painful. It's my right pointer finger and is killing me to type. I was so glad that, after a while, it was obvious that I had not cracked my bone. I will hurt for anyone I hear of closing their finger in a door from now on!!

I am doing lots of praying and reading my Bible so far this month. It has been great. Great to be close to God, great to rely on him and the strength I get from him rather than on myself, great to pray with Tim, great to cry out with my desperate prayers for my mom, great to be reminded that God loves me deeply and holds me in his arms.

Monday, February 1, 2010

The Spiritual Life

Today is the first day of February and the first day of our committment to read and pray for at least 30 minutes each day this month. We have a list of brainstormed ideas for challenges for the year and chose this focus for the month due to a three week fast our church just completed and a spiritual retreat Tim just took with some of his best friends in the mountains this weekend. This used to be something I did everyday for years and years, but it has not been an absolute in my life, sadly, for several years. Life with young kids and my own selfishness and pride has gotten in the way.

I want to rely on God and his strength every day. I want to be all that God wants me to be every day. I want to know God more and more. I want to grow and change. I want to be more faithful. I want to be less fearful.

I have a pile of spiritual books on my bed side table right now, and I will be reading out of those and my Bible this month. They include Secure in Heart, He Loves Me, and Your Best Life Now for Moms. I have lots of others that I may be using for topics and Bible study, but these are the ones I have already been reading...just not consistently at all.

I have not read for today. I did listen to a spiritual CD a friend just made me while I was in the car today. Some of the songs were familiar, almost all of them were moving to me, and the best part of all, was thinking about the thought my friend put into making them for me along with a card and small gift to cheer my mom and let her know she cares. wow. I am so very lucky to have lifelong friends and a relationship with God.

I am going to read my Bible now and finish my coffee and homemade pumpkin bread. And by the way, I bought coffee and Chick-fil-a today. :)