Preparing

Time kind of stood still for a while and then flew. "Preparing" kind of comes to mind as the theme of the ideas in my head about which to blog. The lack of ability to prepare for sickness, preparing for the new year, preparing more for my days since this month's challenge, and preparing for the no spend month of January.

I was not prepared for the other day when my mama called to say she had gotten some very abnormal bloodwork back from the lab. In fact, I was headed to buy a van due to the accident that totaled my van and left me completely unprepared for all of the fearful, chiropractor-full, looking for vans-full days to come. I left Tim to complete the van buying process and met my mom at the doctor. After two doctor visits and a major procedure, we ended up at the hospital for a blood transfusion and a very very long evening and early morning watching TV together in a hospital room. She is feeling better and the news we received on the 23rd is that she almost definitely does not have cancer, so we all breathed a sigh of relief. NO WAY TO PREPARE for that...i tried...but truly no way to prepare for news and/or sickness. Hopefully the next couple of weeks will bring about answers and solutions to her health issues. I am ready to be on the journey with her back to good health, wherever it leads us.

I am also feeling ready for the journey that my family will continue on in 2010. Tim and I spent time in the car the other morning remembering the many many joys and adventures and the couple of tragedies we experienced this year. It's so so so good to remember. In a moment of feeling down, I had almost forgotten the deep connection Tim and I shared as we celebrated our 10 year anniversary this year (on a cruise), the concerts we went to, the joys Tim has experienced in his business and growing frienships, the mountain trip with some of my closest friends, and several other things. I am amazed that the time can move along and it is easy to forget, lose track of time, let worry or fear set in and then lose the immense joys of my life. There is no way to truly prepare for the year, but I love to spend this week each year reflecting and thinking about all that I am and who it is that I really want to be.

Besides the end of the year being near, the end of this month's challenge is close. I am ulitimately feeling so very happy about both the mental and physical rest we have gained this month. The electric bill was $50 less compared to this month last year, so that was so encouraging to see too! I believe there is truly mental rest in unplugging whether for a couple of days, a week, or several hours a day for a month, like we have done. An end to the night has brought me peace about the things left undone...permission to leave it all and start again when I am able. Less time on the computer has been healthy for me. More rest has certainly been healthy. The TV will return next month whenever Tim initiates. He has spent his Christmas money on replacing a beloved game system he has done without for quite a while since its demise. I respect his passions and his desire to have the television for his leisure. We have not discussed if we will continue to set limits for TV, computer, electricity use. We need to prepare for the end of this challenge and for our no spend month in January.

I have a feeling I am not prepared for next month. I love to eat out, treat myself with a coffee and/or snack at a drive through, and meet friends at restaurants. I rarely spend money on material items, but spend regularly on the consumables I listed above. It's actually something I do not like about myself. I want to pack food and water in the van, make coffee at home, plan meals and eat them at home, stop supporting companies for which I despise their values, and eat whole foods and feed them to my children. None of this is accomplished during my drive through trips here and there day after day. I imagine I will initially feel deprived and then eventually deeply sastisfied.