My heart was so moved at choir practice at church tonight. There's a simple song, "Let it Rain," that brought tears to my eyes that I could not stop from rolling down my face for a few minutes. The words?
Let it rain, let it rain. Open the floodgates of heaven. Let it rain, let it rain. Open the floodgates of heaven. Let it rain, let it rain. Open the floodgates of heaven. Let it rain.
4 parts are sung, and the repeated words ebb and flow and are written and played to sound like the intensity and depth of nature. The choir director asked us to sing it with meaning, and how he interpreted the song is that this is being sung in a time of desperation, hanging on in a tough time with one hand lifted up to God and begging him for blessings.
I cried because I thought of how desperately I want my mom to be healthy, and sang these words to God for a couple of minutes, begging him to open the floodgates and heal her.
After I got choked up about that for a while, I thought about my friend sitting one person over from me battling lymphoma and driving to Emory tomorrow for her fifth treatment. I watched the woman in front of me who lost her husband to cancer not that long ago and wondered if what I saw in her face was what I thought it was while singing this song. I thought about my best friend, whose FIL is very sick, my friend who desperately wants to have a baby, my friend who has children that struggle greatly with mental health issues, my friend who lost a child last year, my friend who lost her husband to brain cancer 6 months ago. My goodness...the list is not to be depressing...just reality. I felt so connected to these women and their sorrow and just imagined them/me flat on the ground begging for God to open the floodgates and pour down blessings. I am amazed that I know so many people with such loss and hard times, but then it helps me to see I am so not alone in any sorrow I may feel, and that life truly is an amazing journey. I am so very glad to be on it.
I am also hoping and praying for God to open the floodgates in our finances. We have a settlement for my car accident outstanding, and I am praying to be surprised and amazed! I am praying for God to open the floodgates in Tim's business and bless him with professional and financial success.
I must continue no spend month in some huge way the rest of the year! It will take lots more thought and planning. So much to do, so much to see, so many medical bills and financial burden on my mom, so many people hurting and in need. Chicken nuggets and starbucks just aren't worth a penny in comparison. Surely I can do without.